Saturday, January 27, 2018

I want to write a book

Do you have any life-long dreams you've been hoarding in the back of your mind, waiting for the perfect time to bring them out and obsess about them?  One of my long-long life-long dreams has been to write a book.  Or just write anything that can get published.  So, naturally, now that I'm 2.5 months away from giving birth to my first child, working full time as a music teacher (with no plans to stop teaching), and considering starting a PhD in the near future... now would be the perfect time for me to obsess about this book idea...

But, really, I can't get it out of my head.  It's an itch that won't go away that I reeeeally need to scratch.  Write - a - book! Write - a - book! runs through my head 24/7.  Never mind that I have absolutely no idea what I would actually write about... that minor detail is insignificant...  No matter that I haven't written anything that's ever been published...  

"It seems easy enough... have an idea, write it, publish it.  People are self-publishing all the time these days, right???  Ok, ok let's give in to my fantasy for a second and really think about this book idea.  Where to start?  Well, I need a topic.  Wait, first I need a genre.  Non-fiction?  Fiction?  Self-Help?  Biography?  Diary-style?  Novel?  What do people want to read about?  Does that even matter?  Who am I writing this for anyway?  Who's my 'audience?'  Do I need an audience?  Can't I just write this for my own personal fulfillment?  Then what's the point?  Why go to all the trouble if no one is going to read it except for me and my mom?  Writing a book is a lot of work...  Ok, maybe I shouldn't write a book..."

So I table it for a few days.  "I give up.  No one will read it anyway, so what's the point?  It was a bad idea.  I need to just stick with what I'm good at - teaching music, and not get involved with other projects I know nothing about."

A few days go by and suddenly, there's that itch again.  Write - a - book! Write - a - book!  

"I'm good at music... maybe I should write a book about music.  I wonder if there is a niche for historical musical fiction?  Is that weird?  Who would read that?  Maybe I should write a textbook.  Ugh how boring..."  And on and on and on it goes.

I have a feeling this is not going to go away until I actually do write a book...  Or maybe I'll just think about it, obsess about it, and be generally confused about it forever, without ever actually writing anything.  Yep, that seems about right...

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