Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Summer To-Do List and a little honesty

This post began as a simple to-do list.  It then evolved into a "heart-to-heart" of sorts as I am sorting through my feelings about this coming Fall...

Sigh, where did the year go?  It seems like only yesterday I moved home.  In just a few short months I will be moving back to SJ to finish my Master's in Choral Conducting.  I have mixed feelings about it.  Back in March, when I decided I would make the move, August seemed so far away.  Now it is very close!  I don't feel ready.

Going back to school has never been so painful for me.  When I was at APU, I would anxiously wait for summer to be over so that I could go back.  I looked forward to it.  I loved it.  My one year at SJ was filled with so much heartache, so much darkness, so much stress and unhappiness - that's all I can think about.   Most of my friends knew that I went through a rough time when I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years, but the fact is, that was just a small part of it... There were many many more reasons why my time there was so hard.  When I think back about living there it's as if all the memories are enveloped in a dark cloud.  There were happy times but those memories are often drowned out by the painful ones.

I'm nervous.  What if my health has only improved because I've been home?  What if the stress of school triggers a relapse?  I love my doctor in San Diego.  He'll be so far away!  I am so paranoid.

I keep trying to remind myself of the pros of moving back to SJ.  My friends and family are constantly hearing me say things out loud like, "Well, maybe this time I'll be able to do more sight seeing, now that Peter will be there," or "At least in San Jose it never reaches 120 degrees Fahrenheit," or "When I move back to San Jose I'll be able to hear Joey lead worship again!"   I'm really looking forward to seeing Dr. A and my friends again, having a boiling crab party (mine without shellfish, of course), getting froyo at Santana Row, painting pottery at Petroglyph, and in the Spring conducting Faure's Requiem.

I keep telling myself that it's only two semesters.  Two semesters is nothing.  I can do it.  MEANWHILE, in the 2 months I have left at home, there are a few things I need to accomplish...

1.  GET A TAN!  I've been pasty white for almost 2 years.  I need a healthy dose of sunshine!

(wouldn't this be nice?!  From google search)

2.  Organize, sort, get rid of stuff, pack up my life.

Some good tips for moving:

3.  Try to finish Form and Analysis workbook.  I can't believe I wasn't required to take this class in Undergrad!  My goal is to finish the book on my own and then hopefully the head of "Music Systems" (Theory) will waive the remedial requirement.

4.  Plan, design, build my new website with Peter. (More details to come soon, will require lots of collaboration with YOU and others!  You'll love it!  Stay tuned!)

From google search

5.  Find an apartment/roommates in SJ.
This would be nice.  Probably expensive though.

6.  Have fun and try not to stress about the future!

From google search


  1. Hey Julie, it's Gisele from BUHS. I found your blog through a post of your mom's on Facebook. Things are looking good for you! :)

    1. Hey Gisele! So good to hear from you! I'm out of without facebook. How are things? Email me at juliesmithmusic(at)gmail(dot)com


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